My writing is verbatim of my thoughts and I'm thinking maybe I should adjust that.
Do you ever get so stressed out that you just don't want to do anything? And it's not bed time, and you're not tired yet, so you kinda just... go on existing? Without being refreshed?
I refresh myself by sleeping. Also, alone time sometimes helps.
I have a tendency to talk to the internet more than I talk to people I know in real life. I mean, besides my husband. Like, I will say shit I won't say to people irl.
I feel like nothing is taboo on the internet. That's the real reason for no censorship.
Sometimes I wish I were more anonymous. Other times I wish everyone knew me better.
I'm not really sure why I want to be popular for my art.
I'm not sure why I want to make money with it.
I have some idea of why I want to be good at it, though.
This journal isn't very coherent. In fact, it's pretty shitty.
It is difficult for me to admit weaknesses. I used to construe some weaknesses as strengths when I was younger, in order to further avoid that. To not even admit my weaknesses to myself. But it seems like something a lot of people do around that age. It was middle school age. I'm far more mature than that now, and I've always seemed to be rather mature for my age.
I think I'm about done now. Ready to go read or something.
This journal will probably be deleted tomorrow morning. Or maybe even sooner. Unless someone comments on it.
I rarely make journals, and usually delete them. This is because they are generally only created when I have something negative to say. Negativity is usually bad. I usually regret the things I say in those journals, or at least making them public. Because I'm not really looking for sympathy, and I'm not trying to bring anyone down, I just kinda want to talk to people. And then people don't talk to me.
Anyway, I think I'll start writing journals to actually update all my watchers on my life in general. How things are going, you know. And then when people start talking to me, start talking to people. Trying to get conversations going. I think it's a good idea. I just usually get disheartened when people don't respond to my positive things. But I'll try it for a while anyway.